Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I Drink and I Know Things: Game of Thrones Sn 7, Ep 5 – "Eastwatch"


After last week's episode (which was arguably one of the best we've seen) I was guessing that this week would slow down the pace a bit. I was somewhat right considering there was far less action, but the pace of the storytelling has significantly sped up! Sometimes not in the best way. I had to suspend belief for a lot of the streamlined storytelling, but in a show that asks us to believe in dragons and zombies, we might as well just go with it. What this episode achieved in its nearly one hour run time was moving most of the remaining chess pieces around to where they needed to be. The stage is set for an epic two episode finale in my opinion, but before we get there let's talk about some of these chess pieces in more detail. 

The Loot Train (Aftermath)

That must have been quite the undertow that dragged Bronn and Jaime all the way down the river and out of dragon and Dothraki range. Either that or Bronn is the Michael Phelps of Westeros and somehow dragged Jaime (and his 50 or so pounds of plate armor) to safety. I think we all knew Jaime wasn't going out like that, but this was a bit too convenient. He almost ran Dany through with a spear and yet there's no search party for him? Nothing? Not one Dothraki scouring the riverbank? Ugh. Fine. Again, just go with it. The Lannister forces have bigger problems to deal with anyway. Like a terrifying dragon perched above them on a hill.

Dany gives the defeated soldiers an ultimatum. Join her or die. Tyrion pleads with her to reconsider. Not a chance. The Dragon Queen stays true to her word and her name by commanding Drogon to roast the Tarlys alive. (I'm just sad that there will be no more Dickon jokes.) The Mad Queen theories are looking stronger by the episode...

"Until I get what I'm owed, a dragon doesn't get to kill you. You don't get to kill you. Only I get to kill you!" 

King's Landing

Speaking of Mad Queens, our favorite sadistic monarch seems to be in an unpleasant mood. The combined news of her army's resounding loss and Jaime's revelation that Olenna Tyrell was behind Joffrey's murder is more than enough to provoke the Lioness. According to Jaime 1,000 wagons were burned during the battle. I only counted about a dozen or so, but 1,000 sounds better when you're trying to convince your sister to have a truce. 


Dany returns, rather quickly, from the battle and rides Drogon right up to Jon Snow for some unknown reason. If there was such a thing as a heartfelt scene between a dragon and a man, this was it. Again, the show flaunts Jon's true roots in our face without saying it out loud as he touches a dragon for the first time.

Just as Dany is about to get Jon to talk about his death and resurrection, Jorah Mormont returns (greyscale free) to his Khaleesi. If there was such a thing as a heartfelt scene between a Khaleesi and a man stuck in the friend zone, this was it. 


More warging from Bran. This time as a flock of crows that fly to the north beyond The Wall where the undead are spotted... still marching. The Night King does one of his scary quick stares and Bran sends out the ravens.  

Arya and Sansa are back to their old sibling rivalry ways and argue about how to handle the current loyalty situation in Winterfell. After they share snoody remarks back and forth, Arya performs some espionage on Littlefinger. Or is it the other way around? He plants the scroll for Arya to find. The scroll that Sansa was forced to write (I paused it to read) way back in season 1 about Ned Stark's treason to King Joffrey. He clearly wants to cause a bit of chaos among the Stark children. We all know how he feels about chaos...

Old Town

Sam, unaware of his father and brother's recent barbeque, pleads with the maesters at Old Town to give word to the lords of Westeros about the White Walker threat. The maesters, in all of there wisdom and ignorance, do nothing. Well, they'll write to Winterfell for clarification first so I guess that's something.

Later on, Sam takes Gilly and, uh.... Sam Jr? Sure. Anyway, he takes them away and sneaks out of Old Town in the middle of the night. He does this, however, after he shrugs off one of the most important revelations of the series! Rather than listen to Gilly read about a marriage annulment and a secret marriage performed for Rhaegar Targaryen, he instead decides to speculate on the number of shits some septon took? Or steps? I don't know. Who cares? Stop Samsplaining and let her talk dammit! I hope they took that book with them.

Dragonstone II

After not reading the sealed scroll for The King in the North, Varys and Tyrion meet with Dany, Jon, and the rest of their council in the war room. A few moments later we have a plan straight out of "Ocean's Eleven" to smuggle Tyrion into King's Landing and for Jon to bring back a wight as proof for Cersei...and Dany. Both of these plans seem a bit too difficult and unnecessary right? Why can't Dany just fly high over the Wall and see for herself? How the hell are they going to capture just one wight? They are all together! Jon's going to need quite the squad...

King's Landing II

Davos and Tyrion arrive (ignore the timeline...ignore the timeline...) and then split up. Tyrion heads to the halls below the Red Keep and Davos heads to Fleabottom. Tyrion reunites with Jaime and, thankfully, doesn't get cut in half. Jaime reluctantly hears out his younger brother's request. A message for Cersei. Dany wants to meet.

"Never betray me again."

Davos finds Gendry Baratheon! Turns out he wasn't rowing this whole time after all. He hid in plain sight as a blacksmith right under the Queen's nose. Gendry, like his father, prefers a warhammer instead of a sword. This is going to get good! 

As they try to escape they are stopped by two Lannister guards. Davos offers them some fermented crab in exchange for safe passage. Seems like a fair trade until, as dumb luck would have it, Tyrion walks up. The guards mention that he looks like a dwarf that they have been looking for and...what's that?...Get to the good part?...OK. Fine. Gendry bashes their heads in with his hammer and they escape! Yeah, this is definitely getting good.

"I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll cut a hole in that chainmail."


Jon and his comrades arrive at Eastwatch where Tormund gives him hell for wanting to go beyond The Wall again. When they take a quick count of the men that they have they realize that it's not enough. Fortunately for them, Tormund has taken a few prisoners that may be of service. 

The Hound! (And the Brotherhood) Finally more of this group! After they each briefly go through a roll call and explain how each of them are connected somehow they all realize that they are on the same team. The living. The episode ends with the GOT version of the Magnificent Seven passing beyond the gate and into the North. There's also a few straggling nameless soldiers behind them from the looks of it. Red shirts. Cannon fodder. Hopefully the only ones in this group....

We ride north!

"We're all on the same side. We're all breathing."
-Jon Snow

Thoughts and Theories

  • Tyrion and Varys need more scenes together. Period. End of story. 
  • Are Arya and Sansa about to be in some serious trouble? Arya's a master assassin and Sansa has become quite the sharp leader. Is Littlefinger playing them or is it the other way around?
  • How does Jon not mention that he has the Mormont family sword, Longclaw, in his possession when he meets Jorah? How does Jorah not recognize his family's sacred sword? I'm sure it'll come up beyond The Wall...
  • Cersei pregnant? Is it real or a ploy to keep Jaime in line? 
  • Gendry and Jon hit it off right away based largely on their fathers' friendship and allegiance to each other. That's not exactly true is it? Robert Baratheon buried his warhammer in Rhaegar Targaryen's breastplate according to the stories. What happens when Jon finds out that Gendry's father is the one who killed his real father? 
  • I hope Jorah comes back from Eastwatch. He better give Tyrion back that coin!
  • Speaking of the Eastwatch crew...unfortunately I don't think they are all coming back.
  • an episode called "Eastwatch," we only spent about the last five minutes there? 

Thanks for reading and feel free to leave me some of your own thoughts and theories in the comments! Looks like we're battling White Walkers next week. Bring it!

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things."